أدعيلها وأدعيلي =)
ربنا يتوفنا وهو راض عنا
Dear old her,
I still remember the first time I saw the famous you; I have heard a lot about you and was happy to finally meet you in person. We were both in the organizing team for a charity event. That was more than four years ago. The dress-code for that event was black and red, and though you were wearing a black blouse and a red scarf, you held in your hand a green and yellow bag! It is as if part of you was always trying to rebel. Of course I didn’t see it like that back then; it appeared to me that you were trying to be cool or something. But this small part of you that was trying to rebel kept getting bigger and bigger till it ruined your whole existence.
As I got to know you better, I noticed how you were always trying to be different in every possible way, especially in the way you viewed the world. I remember our short-lived friendship and how –as I got to know you better- you started to scare me with your views that appeared to at that time as “extreme”. Your fall was so gradual yet so rapid, until one day you decided to shut the whole world out. When you came back you were different, and you wanted everyone to accept the “new” you but you pretended that you don’t care if no one did. That was two years ago.
I remember how one of our friends said to me that we should accept you as you are to prevent you from any further “falling”. I think she didn’t understand that she was already too late; that you are rebelling against everything even yourself and trying at the same time t shock all those who have known the old you.
When I think about you, it’s not pity that I feel, but rather fear that I might end up like you. Does this sound selfish? Well, I’m also afraid that this might be the end for you and that you might never be able to return. Are you satisfied with the person you have turned into? I guess the answer is yes; it is as if you are trying to punish yourself for a mistake you can never forgive.
How bad is your downfall? Wait, I don’t think I want to know the answer, but I do pray for you every night, may you be your best self He accepts when you finally get to meet Him.